I’m a big believer that your feelings about the place in which you live, whether that’s a big city or small town, has a lot to do with your overall happiness. I write a lot about my love of my hometown of Sarasota, but here’s the inside secret: I didn’t always love it here. In fact, there was a period of my life that I strongly considered moving away. During my early twenties, I was very bored by Sarasota. I didn’t have close friends to hang out with, nor did I see anything to really do here besides eating or shopping. It felt very isolating, and I became rather angry with my hometown. That all changed during the last two years of college, and here’s what helped make the change:
- I got lost on purpose. During my college years, I worked for a nonprofit where I taught at nearly all the schools in our district. When I wrapped up for the day I often would take the scenic route home. I’d drive down roads that I’d never driven before, and take random turns into neighborhoods I’d never explored. Allowing myself to get a bit lost helped me discover parts of my hometown that I had never known existed, and thus, serendipity would occur. Just driving through my community made me realize how diverse it was. It was in those moments that I found the parts of Sarasota that were a little quirky–which made me realize that this place had more to offer than the cookie-cutter housing developments that usually made me want to vomit.
- I tried old things like they were new. Growing up in Sarasota, I experienced certain things growing up (like going to the museum or the beach) that made me think “oh, I’ve done that already”. The truth is though, I only thought I had experienced my hometown. When I started acting like a tourist in my own city, I rediscovered a lot of things that I had either forgotten about or that I had brushed off long ago. Searching for free and cheap things to do in Sarasota made it possible to find stuff that I could afford too.
- I traveled elsewhere. When we scraped together enough money, we’d take small weekend trips to places we could afford: Savannah, Asheville, Tampa/St. Petersburg, Key West…even a cruise to the Bahamas. Each time we’d travel, I always had two thoughts: 1) Oh, I wish Sarasota had something like this! and 2) I’m excited to come home. Yes, there’s still a lot of stuff that I wish Sarasota had that I’ve found in other cities (like amazing murals and public art), but coming home always felt like HOME. This realization was important. No matter how cool a new city was, I began to realize that I did actually love my hometown most of all.
The fact is that I love Sarasota. It doesn’t always love me back. As a 30-year-old woman that grew up here since early toddlerhood, I’ve only recently started calling myself a Sarasotan. But that identity has added so much value to my daily life that, even if I moved, I’d still identify that way. Places have a personality for sure, but most of that is because of the people that live there. A city like Austin, Texas, is weird because it attracts weird people. Sarasota’s personality isn’t as obvious as cities that are older (our county turns 100 in 2021) or cities that are more purposefully designed. But the fact is, I had to change in order to change my perspective on Sarasota. Here are some hard truths:
- The grass is greener where you water it. One day I got so mad that a historic building was being torn down that I applied to be on the County’s Historic Preservation Board. Before this, I would just stew and complain about the “damn transplants that don’t care about our history” or the “greedy developers that make boring crap”. Did complaining change anything? Of course not. If you’re mad, do something about it. Want to see something in your city that isn’t there? Find a way to bring it to your hometown.
- You’re not a tree. Plant yourself wherever you want–but know where you’ll thrive. If you don’t like where you live, move. I’ve known plenty of people that have left Sarasota for what they believed were greener pastures. But here’s my warning: if you don’t have a good grasp on what environment you thrive in (big city vs. small town, arts-focused vs. sports-focused, etc.), then you’re not likely to be happy anywhere. No community is perfect, and you’ll always find problems. Knowing what problems you’re willing to live with is half the battle. I’m willing to put up with a massive influx of winter tourists because I get to live in a community that is so naturally gorgeous that people spend thousands each year to visit it.
- It’s not your city’s job to love you. This is the hardest truth I had to learn. You know what a city is responsible for? Basic civic services (like paving the potholes or picking up the trash). I love this quote by Richard Florida: “My theory is that cities don’t make us happy. We make ourselves happy in our cities.” People who say “I hate it here”, often are the same people who don’t take the initiative to try new things; whether that be new groups of people, new events and activities, or new areas of their city. In fact, the people I know who also love Sarasota as much as I do all have something in common: they try new things. Sarasota isn’t the kind of place where you walk down the street and stumble on a parade. You’ve got to work for it a little. Stop blaming your city for your boredom if you spend every night binging on Netflix.
Final thoughts: Everyone should love where they live. I really do believe that with all my heart. Sometimes personal resources can make it hard to move to a city you love, but I think you can find positive things about wherever you are.
What do you love about your city?
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